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But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.So please feel free to ask me questions that involve same-sex relationships, and I will be glad to try to be helpful. » Question from Sarah: I'm worried I have too much baggage to go back out there after a couple of failed marriages. On the other hand, if you don't think you know what ended those relationships and you don't feel wiser and more capable of a relationship now, then you should go see a therapist or counselor so you can solve some of your previous problems and get rid of the baggage. I haven't found anyone who likes to do the same things I do since my husband. If you like opera, join a group that supports opera.So it's not easy, but if it's really important to both of you, and both of you work at it, it can have a good outcome.Question from Lois: What about trips that are only for singles? Pepper Schwartz Question from Carl: I recently started dating after a divorce. He is 22, and he has heard of "dating." Question from Guest: Men with gray hair are thought to look distinguished. And they are good introductions to social networking, and a good way to ease into trying an actual dating site. » Question from Leanne from Austin: What are the rules about dating and sex today? One of those things that you can pick on is whether you and this person have similar values.What advice would you give me as far as first date suggestions? And if waiting is important to you, I assure you there are people out there who feel the same.You can go online late at night and you can use your lunch hour to have coffee with the people you meet. The important point is that people who have kids learn pretty quickly that they need someone who also has kids, and guys are going to look for that, too.Just remember, if something terrible happened — let's say you had to go to a funeral — you'd find the time for it. Question from Denise: I'm in school, working and a mother of 7- and 15-year-olds. They want someone who has the capacity to understand children's needs, just like you do.

But a longer trip, if you don't really find someone interesting, would be a problem if you were trapped, say, on a boat or mountaintop.On the other hand, if you went with a buddy, you could have fun even if there was nobody interesting there.So if you have a friend who will make any trip interesting no matter what, then give it a shot.I'm trying to find someone who will accept me and my kids. Question from Betty: What attracts a mature male to a mature woman once the hormones have stopped?PS: He likes her wisdom, her energy, her self-knowledge, her acceptance of him.




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