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A close friend of mine recently met an amazing guy on an online dating site.

He was smart, successful, and a dead ringer for Bradley Cooper. They exchanged a few flirty messages and he asked her to go out on a Saturday night.

They were still in contact; he would still text her messages full of sexual innuendos.

But sometimes he didn’t text for days at a time, or would just drop off mid-convo when she asked him about something non sex-related. She slept with him before they developed any sort of a real connection.

I stood silently as the whole thing started to unravel. They didn’t really know each other, all they knew were the superficial details that anyone else can be privy to.

I make it a policy not to give my friends relationship advice unless they explicitly ask for it (and a lot of the time they won’t because they know I’ll hit them with the truth and they would rather stay in denial-ville). What do you know about him that you couldn’t find out from his online dating profile or Facebook page? Well he would show me pictures of his nieces and nephews and talk about them! Anyone on Facebook could see the pictures and I’m sure he talks about them to his friends and co-workers. When it comes to sleeping with a guy, the quantity of dates is an arbitrary measure of the state of your relationship.

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Yes, there are people like this, but I’m speaking about the rule, not the exceptions.

Many years ago, a guy friend said something that completely changed the way I viewed sex and relationships.

He said: “Before a girl sleeps with a guy, she has all the power.

When sex comes before a real emotional connection has been established, it’s hard to rewind the clock.

The right time to sleep with a guy is when he has shown a level of investment in you. This doesn’t necessarily mean he calls you his girlfriend or said he loves you.




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