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They know what they want and they know what their partner wants.

But your needs, your desires, and importantly, your boundaries have not yet been a part of that conversation, and it’s up to you to make them clear.

Simple adjustments to my online dating profiles opened the gate for messages from couples—and a rush of options.

Even in conversation, it felt good to be someone who could fulfill not just one person’s fantasy, but two at once.

I was hoping to be their unicorn.“Unicorn” describes a person who joins a couple as their third partner, for sex or even for something more committed.

It earned its mythical name because willing participants tend to be rare and difficult to find, though online dating has helped connect unicorns with couples more easily than ever (there’s even an app for seeking out a unicorn relationship, Feeld).

While some people make their intentions known and agree to becoming exclusive at a certain point, others go with the flow with the hope that they’ll become his or her one and only, even before becoming Facebook official. When someone is really into you and has made you their steady squeeze, they won’t be hiding you and will be proud to show you off. When your significant other stops introducing you as just a friend and it’s replaced with BF or GF publicly, chances are you’re the one-and-only. When you’re excited about being together every weekend, you should know that you’re the one-and-only. You’ve whispered those three special words of “I love you” to each other. If he’s playing the field, all the ladies will know it’s his birthday and will want to be by his side. Not every day is filled with hearts, bells, and whistles. From a toothbrush to an extra set of panties and makeup, when your sweetie carves out a place in his closet or bathroom for you and vice versa, you’ll know it’s serious.

It was never really a title I thought I’d be interested in trying out, but after years of singledom I found myself more sexually curious than I’d been before.

It’s not like I was questioning my sexual identity, but I was deeply interested in exploring its nuances.

This conversation sends the message that the past will stay in the past and you’ve moved on.

He was sweet and inquisitive, and she was funny and a little shy.

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